February 09, 2007

CAMERA SHY

Slowly, you rise from your armchair and slide
to the seat next to me on the couch, our knees

touching. I let you ease the yearbook from my
hands, surprised by your eagerness to hunt out

the face of The King. Until now, I never knew
you to care. To you, he was always a punk, a

delinquent and unworthy of your time.
The details you recall help us to narrow the search:

which hour English class; who his friends were;
who your friends were and why your paths never crossed.

We pause over the photo of the yearbook staff
long enough to find you standing in the last row,

smiling wide, your arms draped warmly over the shoulders
of your friends beside you. A photo you were certain

you had missed because you never showed your face
on picture day. On the very next page, we find

you again, posing with the speech team, again
standing in the back, again smiling wide. Because

I was always tall you say with pride as if this mattered
more to you than did being a part of the team.

It is no great surprise when, a few pages later,
we also find you as president of the drama club.

It does not surprise me, yet it is strange to see.
I have searched countless times through our family albums,

and have never found a picture with your arms around me
or your lips pressed against my cheek in a fatherly kiss.

I often wonder if you can still picture the day you left--I held
the door as you stormed out of the house, shoulders shrugged,

hands raised in defeat and bare as winter trees as if we
had robbed you of your leaves. Maybe this is what you

mean when you say that you are camera shy, that you wish
to remain unknown, unrecognized for the things you have done.

At last the search has come to an end. I am the one who
finds him in the Glee Club photo. We have searched the

entire book. This is the only place we find him. The King,
Elvis Presley, like you, is standing in the back row, smiling

a big southern smile, half a head taller than the others. You
can’t believe we have found him at all, that we have found

him on a page opposite you, both your heads just above the crowd,

your bodies hidden and completely out of view

12 comments:

JohnB said...

Ah, the hidden deepness of the soul peeks out at the last moment...how true it is that only when we are faced with the end (the 'end' being a matter of perception of course) that is when most bloom.

JaneDoughnut said...

I am thoroughly impressed. It surprises me with its sadness.

camera shy said...

jane

thank you
you know, it still surprises me too. each time.

camera shy said...

johnb

your comment
is
comment worthy

well said

capegirl said...

wonderfully creative. and memorable and moving :) (almost as memorable as "what the world owes me")

camera shy said...

cape

thanks
you are too kind

floots said...

sad and beautiful
well done

camera shy said...

floots

thank you
glad to have you stop by
of course.

julia said...

I stumbled upon your blog through links from the blogs of others. Isn’t it crazy what we can find and the connections we can make with just a few quick clicks online? (And sometimes even scary is the appropriate word.) I really like the effect of including a photograph with your poetry in each post; I feel as though it strengthens the connections the reader makes. In this poem, I was surprised at the twist it took. Initially, I was thinking that it was two students, the same age, same class/graduating year looking back at their yearbook. However, I do like the father/child relationship that arises. What throws me off though is the motivation for the two to sit down and look through a yearbook together. Why is it the father the child chooses to help her find this king? This seems like a very unconventional parent/child activity to me. That said, you do a really good job of bringing emotion to the surface of the poem and blending a look back into the past with present realizations. I like the idea of “camera shy” and your incorporation of it into the poem. Maybe you could try to weave it through a group of poems as a unifying element?

Check out my blog if you get a chance: http://smithereenscenter.blogspot.com/ I’m just starting to break into online writing communities and would love any feedback that you have to offer!

camera shy said...

julia

thanks for the comments andthanks for dropping by.

in answer to your question the camera shy elementis prevelent throughout the whole blog. there are no discernable pictures of me here. just images of me through words.

as for other themes, i wrote a series of works a few months back, maybe even a year now, called six urban pastorals you may want to check out.

Blue Athena said...

This is so neat! Missed being here. :)

camera shy said...

blue

thanks
glad you liked the piece

thanks for revisiting